Well, I must admit, today was a huge milestone for me. For the first time, I had the strength and courage to stand up at an audition and perform one of Donna Anna's arias "Or sai che l'onore" complete with full recitative. Poor audition panel didn't know they were in for a 5 minute recit!
It has been a long road for me since I first began my voice training with my master teacher Michael Trimble. But since the very beginning, he sensed deep in my voice and being, a quality that he deemed perfect for the role of Donna Anna in Don Giovanni. Do NOT let the sound of the arias fool you. For a large, rich voice like mine, they are some of the most difficult arias to sing. That's Mozart for you! Michael keeps telling me... you will not be ready until you can sing Donna Anna. So, three years of swimming, yoga, clarinet, hiking, jogging, anything to get more breath and strength all working towards one goal.... to get through those blasted difficult Donna Anna arias.
This was the third opportunity that I have had to audition for Donna Anna over the last few months. The first two... I chickened out. I was scared that I wouldn't get through them. I would get tired out and embarrass myself by pooping out at the end of the aria. But today... today I decided... this will be the beginning. The beginning of the endless auditions for Don Giovanni that I will embark on until SOMEONE gives me a chance to sing Donna Anna. And I will keep swimming, and breathing, and studying, and it will get easier and easier. And one day, I will own this part and become world famous.
I think I am finally beginning to identify myself as a soprano. It is still hard to believe after a ten year career as a mezzo. I even had doubts today at the audition and offered Prince Orlofsky on my audition list. I know, I know. That confused the pants off of them. Why would you sing Donna Anna and then offer Prince Orlofsky? they wondered. Well, because I can do both extremely well and I want it to be your choice. Oh boy. I think there is nothing more odious to an audition panel than having to choose. But they were generous in their praise. Saying that I had a true mezzo color in my Orlofsky yet the Donna Anna fit my voice and sounded so "easy". Ah the irony. I am glad that I could make it sound easy and hide the work! When they asked if this was a sudden fach switch, I almost laughed to myself. Switching from mezzo soprano to heroic soprano assoluto definitely does not happen over night. I fact... I have many many more years still to go I am sure.
So what is the lesson in all of this? Finally I can see my work paying off. If there ever was a "milestone" to prove that I was getting better, stronger, and acquiring more technical skills, today was that proof. I made it. I got through it. I sang the entire recitative and aria. To many, this may not sound impressive. But I know and my teacher knows how much patience and work it has taken to achieve this seemingly small task. And the truth is... I would make an amazing Donna Anna, but it is still not "easy". It will never be effortless, but it can definitely be more secure the more breath and stamina I get. The other truth is... Prince Orlofsky is a piss and a grumble to me. I could do that role in my sleep. So was it right to offer both at the audition? Probably not. But I did it because I didn't want to choose. I want to be the Soprano Assoluto who can stand up and sing all the heroic soprano music, the dramatic coloratura music, the lyric mezzo music and the dramatic mezzo music. The trouble with that is that no one will believe that it is possible and they will want to doubt me.
The advantage to working on some of the greatest arias ever known to soprano voices is that it makes singing mezzo music so easy and secure. The trouble with this is that I have become addicted to the challenge of the prima donna roles. I want to push myself to sing music that is difficult and accomplish it. So that is why I want to do both. Sing soprano music to challenge myself to the max and sing mezzo music to feel completely secure. But I cannot keep offering both. Pretty soon, I am going to have to decide per audition which identity I will represent that day. It is already tough singing both fachs. But both fachs in one audition...? well, that is just plain insolence ;)
To quote my dear friend and amazing soprano Lisa Mandelkorn, "What other singer do you know who can sing the Countess AND Cherubino??" Yes Michael Trimble, whatever were are doing, we are slowly finding my true potential. And this is only the beginning. What will the world think when they finally hear the real me? Will they believe it? Will I be able to stick it through to find out? Lord only knows that I will do my best. And then the real problems begin. Once a soprano can sing everything... what does she choose to sing? Um.... how about... anything she wants to!
~VR
No comments:
Post a Comment